Update (and a bit of a rant) - April 17, 2015

So I haven't updated this blog in a while and it wasn't because I have forgotten about it at all, nor my journey to lose weight. Its just that things in my life have become a bit more hectic and stressful than they were previously.

I love doing my meal prep and I want to keep that up but I've hit a snag in the form that I have no vehicle in order to go to the stores in the next town over in order to get the foods that are better for me. Because I'll be honest, I live in a small town and our town store doesn't really cater to the healthier life choices that other stores do. So in order for me to get a good selection of healthier foods/drinks, I have to go to a Corner Market that is roughly thirty minutes or more from my small town. Now this has become a difficult task since I do not have a vehicle, which I'll explain more on that topic later, and since I don't have a vehicle; it really is impossible for me to go shop for healthier food without inconveniencing a friend or family member. Well mostly just one friend that has proven time and time again that she is one of the best friends that I could ever ask for in this life.

When I say I don't have a vehicle, I don't mean that I literally don't have a vehicle. On the contrary, there are three vehicles in my yard right now just waiting to be driven. Problem is...none of the work. My father, who is suppose to a master mechanic and has a master's degree in the field, has basically not done anything in the form of fixing them. My household has literally had no vehicle of our to drive in over a year and its really starting to piss me off. But what can I do? I can't work because no one is hiring in this town and if I do find a job, there is no way that I can drive to said job when I have nothing to drive.

Not to mention that I am the primary caregiver of my elderly grandfather and my uncle who has down-syndrome. And when I say primary, I really do mean primary as I seem to be in the only in the family that gives a damn about them. Please pardon my language but its really a sore spot for me at how they treat them. And it doesn't end with just my grandfather and uncle. When my grandmother was put on hospice when she was dying from a brain tumor, I was still in high school. But you know who was her primary caregiver...me. I was the one that got up at 3 in the morning in order to calm her down when she was crying or move her when she was in pain. I was fifteen years old and it seemed like I was the only that cared. Not saying that I didn't get help but most of the time I was her one and only caregiver. I almost got kicked out of school because I stayed home so much after staying up all night with her, making sure she was okay. I don't regret it and if I had to do it over again, I would do it in a heartbeat. This is why I stay here with my grandfather and uncle, its because I know that they are being taken care of and even though I do complain from time to time; even though my uncle is far from the nicest person in the world and tells me daily to go "die and burn in hell", I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I am so sorry for venting that long paragraph but the stress has just gotten so much for me that I feel like if I don't get it out that I'll explode. And one of the main things I do when I am stressed is that I write. This is why I wanted to get more into blogging but I venture from the topic at hand...

So yes when I do my meal prep, I go out of town because the selection of food is much healthier. And I am able to do this due to the fact that I have one of the greatest friends in the world and I am so glad to have her in my life. For the past several months, she has driven an hour and a half to come get me so that I could go grocery shopping...and she asks for nothing in return! I mean I don't know many people who do that and do it for nothing. I can't even depend on my own family to do a quarter of the things she has down and I make sure to tell her every time I see her how appreciative I am. But now with me being sick, both from stress and a cold, my grandfather now sick, my uncle sick last week and now my friend has turned out sick; its really hard for me to keep up with my meal prep when I can't go to the store that I desperately need to go to.

Not saying that I have given up on dieting, oh no that is not the case. I've just had to make some sacrifices when it comes to my weekly meal prep for now. I'm hoping that once we are all over being sick that I can get back into a semi-natural routine again.

I want to again apologize for the rant above but like I said, I had to get that out of me before I exploded or made myself sicker. So if you guys will just stay with me for another week or so, I can get some better updates going and whatnot. Hope everyone had a Happy Easter and that you are all doing well.

Until Next Time!